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Friday, December 12, 2008

Independently Verified: The Perfect Baby

Our wonderful yet fearsome ship's doctor, Dr. P (a.k.a The Tigress, if you'll remember) has struck again. First off, Jack suffered another prickly experience at his most recent checkup, the first of which was graphically described a few weeks ago. I'm told Her Majesty was far better prepared this time and held herself together pretty well. Your correspondent luckily missed the traumatic event as he was on assignment in another part of Port of Houston. Dr. P is quite the fan of our little El Guapo, who uses a plethora of moves to impress the ladies. She declared him "THE PERFECT BABY!" Eat your heart out, Lord Nelson.

Final stats at 17 weeks were 14 lbs. 7 oz. (42nd percentile), 26 1/2 inches long (94th percentile - we're in talks with several NBA teams now) and 41.25 cm head circumference (25th percentile).

Next, Majesty finally obeyed the previously discussed flu-shot mandate (after refusing my offer of a draught of lime juice and quinine bark). Shockingly, Thursday night H.M. turned ill from the blasted thing.

So with that in mind, Thursday night basically went down like this for unhelpful dad: DEAD SLEEP... can you get me a blanket... DEAD SLEEP... get me a spit up diaper... DEAD SLEEP... Would you burp him... DEAD SLEEP... change him... DEAD SLEEP... get him to go to sleep... DEAD SLEEP... walk with him around the freezing apartment for an hour... DEAD SLEEP... give him some Baby Tylenol... DEAD SLEEP... 4:45 alarm... There are other details I can't divulge, as I'm constrained by our mission statement (see at right). Needless to say no punishing workout got done that morning.

Had a massive tailwind propelling HMS Tahoe as we went up to do the Texas family Christmas/Thanksgiving in Fruitvale. Behold the wonder of Google Street View! Had a really nice time with the Top Brass and assorted Family People, showing Jack off to whoever would look at him and listen to us. First Mate Belle had such a great time that she requested extended shore leave (granted) and is still up there at Camp W. It's just as well she's away while we move into Home Port 2.o/The House of Many Colors this week. We experienced an equally massive headwind with choppy seas for travel back to Port of Houston yesterday, but a nice trip all the same.

In other news, Jack now loves to "fly" around the apartment a'la Superman and has an annoying habit of suddenly trying to leap out of one's arms. In fact, his preferred method of riding around is to lean out away from you at near-horizontal staring straight down towards the abyss. He takes special enjoyment in going out on our fourth-story balcony (third if you're Britishly inclined) for the view from the crow's nest.

All this enjoyment of heights, free climbing and danger makes me wonder if I've got a future Airborne Ranger or Navy SEAL on my hands. Or maybe just a ne'er-do-well participant in the X-Games.

I'm remiss in posting pics, but hope to remedy that this week. Ah! Forgot to mention that as a new feature on CJMP, the Captain answers YOUR questions. Yes, friends and neighbors, you heard correctly, the skipper will opine on any topic! So uh, fire away and give us some uh, cannon fodder for future posts. No question is too big or too small. What brand of diapers wins Jack's ringing endorsement? What does he expect from the building tension in the Middle East? What REALLY goes on aboard a tall ship? You only have to ask, and it's FREE - unlike that 5 cent hack Lucy van Pelt.

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