Monday, April 13, 2009

Stand-up Routine

I am 32 years old. I have never, ever, EVER laughed so hard that I vomited. Jack turned 9 months old on Easter Sunday. And incredibly, he's already notched this one. And he kept laughing before, during, and afterward. This kid is getting more and more talented every day.

These are the small events that parents regale friends, family, and their children's future spouses with for decades to come. Oh, and this one was goooood.

You remember Animal from The Muppet Show, right? I mean, who doesn't? The Muppet Show was children's programming at its absolute zenith. The insanity of it all, complete with pig soap operas, the cast of Star Wars, John Denver, etc. was something to behold (go blow a quarter hour on Youtube, you'll be the better for it). I digress.

Well, Her Majesty decided to do a heretofore unseen hair-flipping Animal impression for Jack, who was feeling a bit giggly anyway. Sent him right over the edge. I was called in from another room just in time to witness the unbroken laughter and then spitup rolling down his front as he stood in his crib. Comic genius, that was. Comic genius. And I'll try to get covert video footage of the impression. It was like this.

No doubt Our People have all heard the great news about the US sea captain rescued from pirates off the Somali coast this weekend. Captain Jack keeps abreast of the competition pretty well, and had a few professional observations that he shared in the Officers' Mess this morning that he bade me pass along. Listen up, ye dogs:

1. Do not mess with Navy SEALs.
3. Do not mess with anybody even remotely associated with USSOCOM, most especially Navy SEALs.
4. Pillage, plunder, and generally have your merry way with any ship in the accursed Spanish Navy, as is (probably) completely legal to do under orders from Queen Elizabeth I (unless there are US Navy SEALs around, in that case see #1 above).
5. Stay the heck outta the Gulf of Aden. There are better ways to get over to the Subcontinent. Like flying Emirates first class. Curry is not worth dying for. Almost, but no.

I've also posted a picture of the skipper with his cheese-out fake smile, his enormous new shoes, and his appropriately enormous Easter Basket. Enjoy.


Anonymous said...

The captain could have told us all not to mess with SEALS, since he oversees their training and thinks up those scenarios for them. And that stint with the Easter Bunny!! You told it like it was. He loved having all involved clapping and in general making a fool of themselves to get him to smile for the birdie.

Courtney said...

Jack looks absolutely precious in his Easter picture!!

El Comodoro said...

Hey thanks a bunch, Courtney. I didn't know if you could see him over the clown shoes in the foreground.