Monday, May 25, 2009

Passing Class

Celebrating Lack of Responsibility
The crew has had a great long weekend. I'm watching Jack push his high chair into the kitchen (galley) island over and over. Bang. Bang. Bang. Whatever. Bang. As long as he's happy. Bang.

Gringos Don't "Do" Siestas.
Saturday we had a little picnic down at Galveston. It was a fine day, laid back and sunny and we destroyed the curried chicken salad like... OK, since I'm sort of on vacation, I can't locate an appropriate metaphor. Make your own. Themes to include: deliciousness, warfare, extreme hunger, maybe ravenous animals and/or castaways, etc. I trust you guys. And please share if you cook up a really nice one. One odd thing about the island - it eerily reminds one of early spring, since most of the non-palm trees are dead, I suppose from all the salt in Ike's surge. I can also tell you that we were the only fools that didn't take a siesta after eating like every other sane human being did. Have I mentioned that I LOVE AND APPROVE OF "siesta" countries? Mexico. Greece. Spain. Italy. Those folks have this whole living thing down pat. GDP? Not so much. But you can't have everything.

Special Price for You Today My Friend: Almost Free
Like the the wee little mercenaries we are, we sailed HMS Tahoe over to do some opportunistic recession shopping today. Jack made sure to wave, smile, laugh and generally ingratiate himself to every single person we met. He's pretty much an emissary of ebullience, a general of geniality, a missionary of mirth; he spreads happiness like an itchy rash. Someone stop me. We even snuck (sneaked? snanck?!) off while Majesty was trying some new garb or other on and nabbed a gloriously 100% full-caf double espresso. (Weeeeeeeeeeeee!) Who winds up in the same cafe? H.M. I backpedaled. I evaded. I zig zagged. I smokescreened. And I blamed it on Jack. I think it worked. Whew.

That Wasn't Me, It Was Him
If there's one thing I've learned by this 9ish month long crash-course in parenting, it's that self consciousness will get you nowhere. Fast. Dear readers, I offer this little gem:

Things are more funny when you shouldn't laugh. Like fire to oxygen, funny thrives in serious situations. Like, say, when the President of Oklahoma Christian is preaching at your church, and an entire row of college kids happens to be sitting in front of you. By definition, that's precisely the time when it might be hysterical for somebody to air out a nice big toot. Funny? You bet your soiled diaper it is. Now add NINE (9) more honkers on top. We counted. In about a 15 minute period, I was literally wiping tears while I choked down laughter. On the college row, Mr. Ashley (associate of Mr. Uncle Jay and Mr. Uncle Blake) was sitting in front of us, and was cracking up because I was. And I was cracking up because he was. The dude next to him was cracking up because we were. The girls by them, determined at first to be "mature" about all this by ignoring it, well they were eventually snorting and giggling and staring, too. About a 20 foot radius around Jack was completely distracted. I'm not kidding, the speaker, Dr. ...um... O'Neal, I think it was, looked directly into my blood red face and bored a hole right through me. Whoops. Guess that's one less college option for our hero. A post-service conversation:

Ashley: "He takes after his uncle."
H.M.: "Which one?"
Ashley: *Laughter*
H.M.: "Both? Yeah."

Newest Parental News Flash!
We have learned the secret of the late dinner. The Captain has now retired to his quarters and Her Majesty and your correspondent are whipping up the tried and true basil & sage pesto in the ship's galley. Chuck Berry's You Never Can Tell is blasting on the (babyproof) ship's phonograph. There might be some twisting (!) going on, but reports are still unconfirmed. Carry on.

Note: We also took Jack to the public pool today, and all that craziness will not fit in here. And it's bedtime for moi. I'll regale you with LOTS of cultural experiences some other time. OK, now you can carry on.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Uncle Jay says he's 'hungry as a hostage!!' when metaphor time presents itself. Sounds like a good time was had by all!