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Sunday, January 24, 2010

What I Learned at the Marriage Retreat


Lesson #1:  It's tough to find a good wife.
Lesson #2:  It's tough to find a good husband.
Lesson #3:  Your child can get along better without you than with you. 
This was our first time leaving El Capitan overnight.  Which really freaked Majesty out good and proper.  My helpful solution?  "Just don't think about it."  Which was heard as "Just don't think about him."  Either way made me look like even more of an insensitive jerk.  Awesome.  The relationship building weekend was off to an ideal start!

Jack looked for Tigger while we were gone.  Yeah, that Tigger.  Apparently A. A. Milne's springy character was outside any transom window at our house, and Jack had to be held up 10 feet high to investigate.  On Sunday, Jack drifted over to El Tiempo where he frolicked with a flour tortilla.  Is it a toy?  Is it food?  Is it a hat?  (Yes, yes, and yes!)  Pictures from the end of this event look like the tortilla was left out in a rainstorm while a rat gnawed at it.  And finally when we were reunited with the sprog, his reaction was something like, "Why did the squares come back?"

Lesson #4:  Sometimes you have to kick in your own door.
Upon arrival to our cabin, the door code doesn't work.  So I press against the door, lightly.  And I mean lightly.  The door moves back 4 inches and I hear the unmistakable sound of pieces of wood falling on the floor inside.  The maintenance guys show up literally 3 minutes later and fix the code.  Three of them.  The silent one observes.  The friendly one fixes the doorframe, which has been kicked in.  The talkative one tells us, "I know what happened."

"Yeah, the owner kicked it in.  He had a bottle of wine last weekend and couldn't get in late one night.  And he just wanted to get to bed."  (Uh, I reckon so.)  He continued, "He's really a nice guy, but he's pretty high strung.  He's like some head honcho at NASA, and when he gets done with a mission, he's going to relax as hard as he can.  He puts 4 trolling motors on his canoe and races people on the lake.  At night, he gets in the canoe and serenades people in the cabins in Italian.  Really bad Italian."

All we could do is ask, "He's not coming back this weekend, right?"  That night, I decided that anybody kicking in my cabin door (wearing a spacesuit) was going in the lake.

Lesson #5:  It really is that simple.
Being kind to your spouse is simple.  But if we all did it, there wouldn't be any more marriage retreats.

1 comment:

Donna said...

Perfect- love those videos! Glad you got to go to the retreat- but it would have been fun to meet a drunken, Italian-singing spaceman with a temper.