Monday, February 22, 2010

Tiger! Tiger!

The wildest suggestion I heard this week was gotten from the closed captioning on the bigscreen at my sandwich shop.  I was waiting for the guy to finish up my Elvis special and some talking head on ESPN tells John Buccigross that the Tiger Woods Infideli-gate thing was a fantastic opportunity for parenting.  You know, to talk to your kids about trust.  About promises.

Uh huh.  I'm sure that sounded brilliant to Connie in Makeup, but I dunno if the age intersection works.  Like at all.  Let's see, the old "Trust" and "Keeping Promises" lessons coincide with what, Little League?  And the "When You're A Married, World Famous Athlete, You Shouldn't Sleep With Every Cocktail Waitress In Vegas" lesson is, ah... is when, exactly?

You know, they really ought to whiteboard these arguments before they're rolled out to the general public.  Anyway, if you actually needed this prompt (from either the ESPN wag or the wayward golf star, take your pick) to spur you on to greater parenting heights, it be already too late, mon.

I think the world of Deuteronomy 11:9.  I do.  And I think we should be inventive of ways to bring lessons to our children (and each other) about God, using the world around us.  We should talk about everyday life in terms of God.
And ye shall teach [these words to] your children, speaking of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.
But maybe the scandal du jour might not be the way to go about it.  Just my $0.02.

Speaking of Tigers, I am reading one of the most entertaining little volumes I've run across:  The Jungle Books.  That Rudyard Kipling cat was a certifiable genius.  If you're like me, and all your knowledge of these stories comes from the 1967 Disney movie (with which the Captain is unnaturally obsessed), you need to take a look at the 19th Century originals.

But be warned, there's a lot less catchy music.  

A sample:
Yes, I too was born among men.  I had never seen the jungle.  They fed me behind bars from an iron pan till one night I felt that I was Bagheera, the Panther, and no man's plaything, and I broke the silly lock with one blow of my paw, and came away; and because I had learned the ways of men, I became more terrible in the jungle than Shere Khan.  Is it not so?  --Bagheera, in Mowgli's Brothers
And yeah, the animals all talk in Elizabethan English.  Which is awesome on so many levels.  I'm reticent to promise a real-deal book report, but don't be shocked if you hear more talk of Kipling's jungle in the future.

Not sure what to tell this week about Jack-san.  He's got a two-week long streak going for sitting through the entirety of church.  I mean, his stay is punctuated with "UH OH!" and "NO!" providing some pretty good laughs for those around us, but it's tolerable.

His latest funny talent is being able to participate in reading books and praying.  So for Goodnight, Moon, he'll finish out the lines for you, like so:

"Goodnight comb, Goodnight [BUH!], Goodnight nobody, Goodnight [MUH!], And goodnight to the old lady whispering, '[SHHHHHHHHHHHH!]'"

That last part has him mashing his nose down completely flat with his index finger.

He even prays pretty well:

"Dear [GAH], Thank you for [DADA] and thank you for [MAMA] and thank you for [BUH!] and thank you for [PAPA] and thank you for [BUH!] and thank you for [MMM], right, for Grammy, and thank you for [DADA] and thank you for Granddaddy, and thank you for [BAHBAH], that's right, Beebee, and thank you for [MAMA] and thank you for [BUH!] and I love and thank you for Jesus [ZHUHZHS], and I pray in His name, [AMUH!]"

Amuh.  I think that's the Aramaic.


Anonymous said...

Love the praying! But back to the Tiger and his entitlement issues, meaning he thinks he needs to live his life according to another (his)book of rules. Lessons come hard sometimes.

RG said...

Kid prayers and kids sitting thru church rock. Probably the most entertaining things Brady has done at church, of course other than singing as LOUD as he can to every song in his own vocabulary... once while visiting the inlaws church, which contained plenty of his usual singing, promptly upon hearing the last AMEN of the closing prayer, he shouts at the top of his lungs "YYEEEEAAAAHHHHH" which was followed by his joyous clapping. While that was a greatly timed moment, the echo of the elderly gentleman at the front of the auditorium mocking him was greatness as well and inspired additional laughs from the congregation. Oddly enough, we happened to run into that same gentleman at Luby's during lunch. I think I know what they were both looking forward too... those large jello squares and the fake mashed taters.

Melanie said...

does RG have a blog? he needs one!