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Monday, March 1, 2010

Yoo! Ess! Eh?

I hate topic cleanup, which is the main reason I never do it.  But let's get right down to it with a shotgun start:

The Skipper is pretending to drink hot tea like the regal and munificent Her Majesty.  It really helps that he knows all the proper terminology:  [HAAT!  TAH!]

Issue #2
Our current brag is that we've made the third week in a row of sitting all the way through the church service with Jack, thanks to Majesty's donated necklace (requiescat in pace) and a Magnadoodle (light on the doodle and heavy on the magna).

Issue #3
So there was another petting zoo this past week.  Friendship School hosted donkeys, llamas, bunny rabbits and all sorts of mostly docile fuzzy wuzzies.  Yours truly really wanted to be a part of all this (as amateur photojournalist) but Greener Pastures Capital is about a bazillion miles away from the school and I couldn't swing the logistics.  Think Western Canada.

Anyway, the reports coming out of there now indicate that Jack picked up a bunny rabbit by the ears, kept rubbing his face in the donkey's coat, and pretended to eat the donkey's food (while el burro was right there thinking about which of Jack's ears he should bite off).  Jack-san also liked the pony ride, yelling [UP!] for "Giddy up!" and cackling maniacally as the worried pony trotted around.

The bunny might need some psych help, too, because after the ear incident, the thing would truck it away from Jack at warp speed.  Oh, and Majesty egged Jack on by asking if the donkey's grub was good.  [MMMMMMM!] was the answer.  You're not helping, honey.

So it was another good showing of calling all the animals "dog" and barking at them, with (I think) no strangely dressed parents with socialization issues.  We'll count that one as a win.

Issue #4
The strange language the kid is crafting for himself is really fun to interpret.  We heard the following over the weekend, as the sprog cast about frantically for something:

[PUH!  NAHT NO!]

Which is of course translated, "Esteemed Mother and Father, I've misplaced my cup, and haven't the foggiest where it's gone, blast my gizzard!"

That free translation software is awesome.

Issue #5 - SPOILER ALERT
And Jack naturally imitates EVERYTHING.  That includes his dad as he screams at that darn teevee during the US/Canada gold medal hockey game.  He's even got the actual word down and constantly chants [HAH HA!] for "hockey."  It's cool.

Speaking of which, it was just painful watching the boys taking the silver hardware after the overtime heart-stopper by (who else?) Sid Crosby.  You would've thought they were being awarded the Flesh Eating Bacteria Medal.

And to Crosby, I officially pass the Greatest Hockey Player on the Planet mantle.  Is there anything that dude cannot do with a puck at precisely the right moment?

I had the whole thing TiVoed so that I could experience the soul killing agony game first hand.  Jack and I made it through the 2nd period and left for church, where H.M. was at one of those baby shower things.  The idea is to swoop in right afterwards and score some cake, which we did, saving the Game of Games for later.

Issue #6:  No, Really, Don't Tell Me
Where else in the known universe would I be more safe from learning anything about the biggest hockey game in decades than at a baby shower in Houston, TX?  Right.

But, no, I have the following conversation almost immediately upon strolling in, with someone (who shall remain completely anonymous, and here's a link to her blog):
Completely Anonymous:  "Hey, do you know how the hockey game turned out?"
E.C.:  "NO!  AND DON'T TELL ME!  DON'T TELL ME ANYTHING - I'VE GOT IT TIVOED!"
Completely Anonymous:  "Oh, okay.  We had it on here, but we turned it off when it went to overtime."
E.C.:  "I cannot believe you just told me it went to overtime."
Completely Anonymous:  "What?  You said you didn't know how it turned out.  I didn't tell you anything about it."
E.C.:  "I cannot believe you just told me it went to overtime.  I'm only up to the 3rd.  Don't tell me means don't tell me!"
Completely Anonymous:  "I didn't!"
E.C.:  "I said don't tell me!"
Completely Anonymous:  "I didn't say anything!"
Pregnesia may have been involved.  Fie and curses upon thee, Pregnesia!

Ladies.  Can I talk to you for a second?  OK, there are strict protocols about DVRing and about speaking to those (in limbo) who have DVRed.  If you have no idea what I'm talking about, please ask your local dude and he'll be happy to explain the protocols.

We now resume our regularly scheduled broadcast.

UPDATE:
I am remiss in forgetting to post my wife's immediate reaction to Crosby's overtime goal.  Within seconds, and not saying a word, she handed me (not kidding) a pint of chocolate ice cream and a spoon, with this pitying look on her face.  Thanks, babe.

4 comments:

Courtney Squillante said...

Ok, I don't know who that horrible girl is that would ruin the rest of the game for you! But IF I did know her, I think she would say that she HONESTLY didn't hear you say you TIVO'd it... She asked if you knew the outcome and she heard you say, "No, don't tell me though!" So to her defense she just thought you didn't the final outcome- NOT that you didn't know about the WHOLE game! This is all hypothetically speaking of course- like IF I knew her! :)

Gentry said...

Carson pretty much summed up my thoughts yesterday when Jamie comes strolling in from the gym as we are watching the game and he says to her "Mommy the bad guys have big red leaves on their shirts... thats how we know they are bad guys right daddy?"

That match was a heartbreaker!

RG

El Comodoro said...

Yes, Carson, the bad guys don't wear black hats, they wear big red leaves and have wicked wrist shots from the low circle.

And Courtney, I may (or may not) have said that bit about the TiVo. To that woman. Whoever she is.

I was too busy being shocked out of my gourd to remember precise detail...

Cindy Deister said...

Laughed and shared with Aaron! I even paused my DVRd show to share...Thanks!