Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Mission Accomplished.

I had one, and only one, objective while Majesty and el Capitan were out of town:

Don't burn the place down.

That's reasonable.  I mean, you remember what happened last time.

Well, mission accomplished!  Ah, that's easy, you say, the whole not-burning-down-a-structure thing.  No sweat.  Well, normally, sure, I'd agree with you.  But when you put (1) a completely unsupervised white collar guy (Read:  someone that could mortally injure himself with everyday household items), (2) all the electrical switches, fan controls, and outlets Lowe's would sell me together with (3) a somewhat creatively electrified Reagan-era house, there's a very real risk of fire.  Explosions.  Fatalities.

But I did it.  Or rather, I didn't.  Burn it down, that is.  I replaced probably a third to a half of our crumbling, arcing (!) outlets and switches, and removed a ton of dimmers.  Riddle me this, Batman:  Why in tarnation would you want a dimmer over your breakfast nook?  That's kinky, bro.

And most of the (unlabeled) breakers in the breaker box now have been mapped.  Thanks to literally 60+ trips up and down my stairs.  Is that it?  Nope.  That one?  Nope.  My buddy Mike pointed out to me that it could have been a 15 minute job had I had an assistant and a few cell phones.  Yep.  But I wouldn't have gotten the unexpected residual effect.  My legs?  JACKED!

After I got sick of risking electrocution playing electrician, I ended up in the front yard taking down a tree stump with an axe.  Got more than a few horrified looks from passersby.  I am still dead tired.

H.M. took Jack over to Alabama for the week, pretty much just to raid their kiddie clothes stores, this time for larger sizes.

The fam took him to his first Mardi Gras parade (with Cousin Eli).  I'm told he had a blast, and had his first experience with cotton candy and moon pies.  It probably won't be his last.  "BIG fan!" is what his mom wrote me.  He loved the bands, too.  Tubas and drums are always popular in his world.  The day he gets his hands on a tuba is the day it all goes south.

Other points of interest from Alabama:
  • Heard that Jack got to ride in Poppa's boat on a gorgeous sunny morning, and even got a wheelbarrow ride from his great grandmother.  Yep, you read that right.
  • He slept like a baby the whole trip.  Go figure.
  • Jack can now spell:  JESUS, JACK, and BEBE.  Oh, and BIBLE.  Not bad.  Line up now to coach my son to spell your name!  Only $25.00.
  • Jack has an imaginary dog named Button.  (We're told) Button is black with white ears.  Jack will take him for a walk as often as he can using a long, thin stick as a leash.  Pretty funny.  And economical.

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