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Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Veni, Vidi, Weewee

THE CONQUERING HERO
That's right, he came, he saw, he potty-trained.  I say again, we have housebroken the child.  And the indoor plumbing fixtures of the earth did tremble mightily.

In unrelated news, Kimberly-Clark stock dropped sharply on a reduction in forecast U.S. diaper demand.  Weird.

Jack took to the ah, first order of business immediately, since a primary characteristic of being male is the ability to urinate on demand anywhere, anytime.  "Phase II" as Majesty calls it, took a bit longer.  But two weeks of perseverance (and a ton of guitar time whilst sitting on the throne) did the trick.  There.  Civilization returns to the house once again.  We're not perfect yet - he's still working with a net during the night and at "Quiet Time" (f.k.a. "naptime") but it's a good start.

So this is an object lesson for all who would take little things for granted:  Don't.

Oh, and this Quiet Time thing is sheer genius.  We've been fighting over naptime since he was 18 months old (I'm told), and things are much, much better now that we skip over all that babystuff foolishness.  So Jack heads to his room, grabs an 18" stack of books (really), and reads quietly or sings songs by himself.  H.M. heads off to DVRed Friends episodes, and I hit the old leather couch in the living room and konk out for a half hour of oblivion.

This is a GOLDEN AGE!

Is there anything JR Cash can't do?
A week back, we did the last of many third birthday parties for Jack with a few friends.   As usual, I won't bore you with sticky, buttercream icing covered details, but I do want to mention the awesomest kid's CD I've ever seen, given by Jack's bud, Hudson:  THE JOHNNY CASH CHILDREN'S ALBUM.  You heard me.  This is like the Death Star of children's music:  This [CD] is now the ultimate power in the universe!

We had an excellent Labor Day weekend.  It started off poorly for me with a trademark headache on Friday evening.  After I had (partly) recovered, I sat out on the porch - zonked out of my gourd on meds, mind you - and I saw a large hawk alight in a tree near me.  Real or imagined, I had no idea.  He had something in his grasp, but I couldn't see straight if you paid me.  I then see his cargo just flapping for dear life.  The hawk takes off from his branch, and drops what turns out to be a DOVE in my swimming pool like he's a B-29 on a bomb run.

The fam is out there by this time, and I am now pretty sure this is real.  Yeah, I go fish the injured dove out of my ce-ment pond without falling in (I grabbed the one in the middle).  Anyway, Jack and I had Wild Kingdom time with the calmest almost-was-a-tasty-meal on the planet.  Later, when Majestad then heard bats flitting around above us, she looked at me and said, "I'm outta here."

City folk.

Somehow we became Southern California over the weekend, and we dipped into the low 90s, with strong winds, rock-bottom humidity, and...  wildfires.  The whole place smells like a weenie roast gone horribly, horribly wrong.  But Jack and I got to swim a long while, and to work in the front yard (insert obligatory wheelbarrow ride here).  I mean, after we took care of H.M.'s Arby's craving, that is.  By the way, I haven't eaten this much Arby's since they did 5 for 5 my freshman year of college.  It's absolutely insane.  And tangy.  But insane, too.  I'll do an official cravings post soon.  A preview:  We made stove-top hot chocolate this weekend.  You know, to ward off the Texas summer chill.  Brrrrrrr!

A question for all you wise folks out there.  Any advice on how/when to tell Jack about his competition numero dos?  We wanted to wait until we at least have brother or sister specifics to give him...  Got any words of wisdom for us?

"Gelato, I hardly knew ye."



Yes, that is TP.  In necktie form.

"Dad, don't get me wrong, I love the horsepower, but I mean, the turning radius just isn't there."

2 comments:

bebe said...

I'm so proud of the house-breaking accoomplishment!! Lots of control in many ways! Looks like a fun and educational weekend. That's still the sweetest face on a three-year-old I ever saw!!!

Jennifer said...

First of all, HUGE congrats on the potty success! Secondly, now that J has achieved big boy status, I think he could probably tackle the lawn pretty successfully.