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Thursday, April 12, 2012

Redd Foxx, Brand X and Bruised Egos

GRAVITATIONAL EMERGENCY IN 5... 4... 3...
Never underestimate a child's ability to entertain themselves.  Every ounce of this particular super power is stamped out of us by the time we're about 18, when we suddenly can't sit anywhere without fiddling with some iGadget or having something with an on/off switch soothe us.

So the washer.  The old clothes washer (requiescat in pace) went to that great scrap yard in the sky (I imagine something like the set of Sanford and Son, complete with a duct tape winged Redd Foxx).  Or something.  Anyway, the thing had been squeaking and chirping and making all manner of hilarious rare-jungle-creature type noises for about 2 months.  So it was on borrowed time.  We knew the end would come swiftly.

And come it did.  Majesty was adamant about not having one of those newfangled communist front loaders.  Consumer Reports told me to get the Brand X top loader.  So I got the Brand X top loader.  Brand X is better known for making color teevees and such, and cost a staggering 4 times the Jungle Washer's retail.  Not to worry, I'll recoup my expenditure via water savings in just under 674 months.

But the extra dough is worth it.  Because Brand X has... wait for it... A GLASS LID.  Okay, I dunno if it's really glass, but you can see through the darn thing.  Jack promptly pulls his little tool of the Devil step stool 35 feet, parks it right in front and... watches through the glass lid.  And watches.  And watches some more.

And then I saunter by.  And watch.  And watch some more.  And Majesty happens along.  And she watches.  The whole family was entertained by a swishing load of baby clothes.  I will no longer make fun of you color teevee addicts.

Who am I kidding?  Of course I will.

In other news, Caroline had her check up this week.  Stats:
Weight- 10 pounds, 6 ounces (30th percentile)
Length- 23.5 inches (92nd percentile)
She got stabbed with all sorts of needles, poor gal.  I was quick to point out to her that I had nothing to do with any of that foolishness.  So we're still rock solid.  Majestad and I also had no idea that she was that tall/long.  She seems so petite.  But then, everybody seems petite next to The Monstrous Monstrosity.

Speaking of The Breaker of Rules, let this be a lesson to you:  IT'S UNWISE TO CLIMB ON A STROLLER.  The Dude fell somehow, catching - we think - his feet on the stroller's wheel, planting face down... wait for it... on the concrete.  He managed to scrape the daylights out of his nose, mouth, forehead, and shoulder.  He bruised his cheek.  Probably his ego.  H.M. said she heard him hit.  Hard.

Gravity, y'know?

Still just staggering over the fact that I did a washing machine post.  We've really touched a new low, haven't we?

2 comments:

Jennifer said...

Miss Caroline is almost as long as Jack. Oh my goodness. Washing machines really are very entertaining...really. Don't beat yourself up over posting about it. (Yes, that was a little bit of sarcasm. I blame the sarcasm on Jack. He didn't allow me much sleep last night.)

El Comodoro said...

That stung a little bit.