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Friday, July 6, 2012

Merica and the War Against (Mosquito) Tyranny


I'm typing on the incredibly useful Blogger's Drug/Stimulant Cocktail of Champions today (4 espressos, sugar, my very favorite Schedule III opiate) so who knows what you'll get.  I don't even know what language this is in.  Woke up with a wee headache during the night and tried feebly to sleep it off.

The mosquito that was buzzing loudly in my right ear, and then in my left, had other plans.

Listen, swatting your ears repeatedly (with murder in your heart) to crush a tiny, cursed, undead? parasite that lives only to feed off the living isn't great for the pain in your head.  Finally, after downing some meds and getting pretty darned irritated overall, I went to my garage at about 4:30am.  I found my bug spray.  I applied said bug spray.  I stumbled back to bed.  Really, I did this.

How bad is the mosquito problem in Houston?  WEARING MOSQUITO REPELLANT IN BED, THAT'S HOW BAD.

Was the fresh tropical scent (in our non greasy formula!) wafting from my side of the cama pretty appealing?  Sure it was.  But I'm getting quotes to mount DDT misters on each of our four bedposts anyway.  Pretty reasonable prices so far.

Silver lining:  I can only IMAGINE the trippy vision quest that little sucker took when she got hold of my sauced-up blood.  I'll bet she saw Hendrix's entire Woodstock performance flash backwards before her little bug eyes.

I know it's not August, and in all deference to the Dog Star, the dog days of Summer are already here.  Jack and I are swimming a lot, and looking like idiots in our swim goggles.  We bob in and out of the water like we're looking for apples.  We wave at each other's little gomer glasses under the water.  Again, like idiots.

There's nothing else to do.

Majesty cooked some ribs (usually my purview) on the 4th, along with fresh green beans and corn.  She cut up a watermelon.  She made buttermilk pie.  Why?  Cause it's Merica, that's why.  And in Merica, you eat Merican.

Disturbing fact:  her ribs were far superior than mine.  In about a third of the time.  Don't tell her any of that.

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