Tuesday, May 21, 2013

That Stung A Little Bit

"By all means, have a safe and appropriate place to vent and "be real" about parenting—just recognize that place is probably not the internet."
Prepare to cringe.

We've talked about this before, but I'm a huge fan of discretion in social media.  So online nastiness, like spitball fights, the routine and inexplicable airing of deepest darkest whatevers, rants, or serial documentation of everybody's narcissism is all distasteful to me.  Like mayonnaise distasteful.

But I never ever thought about adding "making people laugh with something my lunatic child attempted" to that list of indiscretions.

I write to and for an audience (all 5 of you wonderful people), believe it or not.  And even starting out, I included Jack as part of that group.  And later, Caroline.  But I never really bothered to think about the idea of curating an online identity for an older them.

An identity that might just make them key my car.  Link below.

TGC - Parents, Do You Think Before You Post?


Morgan said...

This is something that I thought about a lot a year or so ago. Our oldest is almost 9, and he and his friends had started Googling each other's names at school one afternoon. And I suddenly had an epiphany: "All of those cute little stories and pictures I've shared about him on the blog since birth are searchable." Duh, right? Everything I shared was in love and was not meant to embarrass him, but his 13-year-old self, or 17-year-old self may not agree. I realized I was creating an online persona for him that he might not like, and that I was taking online ownership of stories that were his to share or not share.

After a lot of thought, I decided to pull down our family blog and create a new one that didn't make the kids so "findable." No last name, and no first names (I just use initials for the boys). I also ask the kids beforehand about any stories that I share online, and I censor myself a lot more.

It may be over the top, but I'd rather err on the side of caution on this one. I decided my boys have the right to create their own identities, both in person and online, and not have their whole lives published on the internet for their future friends (or enemies--people can be mean) to find.

Just what was right for our family...I make no claims on what is "right" for other families, and I can't think of anything that you've ever posted that might be questionable in any way.

El Comodoro said...

Good stuff, Morgan. But then again, you've conditioned me to expect nothing less from you.

Nah, your solution isn't over the top. At least I think that's a reasonable response to a problem of really superduper complexity.

How much can "family history" (if a blog even rises to that level) is "owned" by one person?

I mean, I do pay the mortgage and all.

I've consciously tried to make CJMP at least pretty ambiguous, if not totally anonymous. And that's not foolproof by any stretch, but it might make it harder for jerks and assorted cyberturkeys to know all of our business.

Anyway, you've put a lot out there for me to chew on. Thanks again, cuz.